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Times Cryptic Jumbo No 1287 - Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

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This Jumbo was on the easy side - indeed a lot of the clues would not have been out of place in the Quick Crossword. My time of a bit over 3/4 hour was only that long because I tried to parse everything fully as I went. But there were one or two hidden delights to keep 10a at bay. As usual with the Jumbo, there were a few relatively obscure words that were new to me, but nothing I couldn't work out from the word play. Apologies for the, perhaps excessive, ramblings below, but I couldn't resist disappearing down the numerous rabbit holes that appeared. So thanks to our setter for the entertainment!

The usual conventions apply - Definitions are underlined in bold italics, {deletions are in curly brackets} and [anagrinds, containment, reversal and other indicators in square ones], (ABC)* denotes anagram of 'ABC',
Across
1Reptile across border — one in Czech lands (7)
BOHEMIA - A scaly constrictor, BOA, wraps itself around HEM (border) + I (one) to give the westernmost and largest historical region of the Czech provinces.
5Ruled out old notion about duke having died (8)
EXCLUDED - EX (old) + CLUE (notion) including D + D (died). What naughty schoolboys (and schoolgirls - mustn't be a 43a) get done to them these days in the UK.
9Poisonous gas envelops City district — get out fast (6)
DECAMP - Any of a number of noxious vapours down t'pit - DAMP with EC (City District) in the middle [envelops] causing you to leave suddenly.
13French artist and competitors collecting Constable's written work (5,11)
DAVID COPPERFIELD - Jacques-Louis DAVID is the French artist + FIELD (competitors) [collecting] COPPER (Constable). The book, of course, wasn't his, but by Dickens. But I didn't need to tell you that, did I?
14Lecturer's case for Drake being confined to Tower (6)
READER - Our fifth containment clue in a row - [case for] D{rake}E contained by [being confined to] REAR (Tower as a verb). In the UK and Commenwealth a reader is an academic rank above senior lecturer (or principal lecturer in the new universities) and below professor, recognising a distinguished record of original research.Well I never knew that.
16Boredom seen in pupil regularly (5)
ENNUI - The alternate letters [regularly] of {s}E{e}N {i}N {p}U{p}I{l} leading to a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction - hopefully not induced by this crossword (or blog!).
17Beer firm vacated Stockport plant (7)
ALECOST - ALE (Beer) + CO (firm) + S{tockpor}T [vacated] gives us the herb also known as costmary,  balsam herb, bible leaf, or mint geranium. I confess I'd never heard of it, You can read all about it here. I don't think I'll be rushing to find some for my garden.
18Argonaut novel by New Forest resident (5-4)
ORANG-UTAN - (Argonaut)* [novel] + N (New). A forest resident you might find in Borneo but are unlikely to find in Hampshire. Curiously, though, the charity Orangutan appeal UK is based in the New Forest! Did our setter know that, I wonder? If so, hats off to you!
19Look to keep very soft topping with one sort of pizza (9)
PEPPERONI - PEER (Look) containing [to keep] PP (very soft) + ON (topping) + I (one), giving one of my son's favourite pizza toppings when further garnished with olives and my quick pickled chillis. Recipe available on request.
21Great Aunt Edna to an extent given ribbing (7)
TAUNTED - {Grea}T AUNT ED{na} [to an extent]. Made mockery of. What she did she do to deserve that?
22Doctor gathers flower for German artist (5)
DURER - DR (Doctor) includes URE (flower) to make Albrecht, the painter, printmaker and theorist. The river Ure is one of the landmarks on the A1 that I look out for on my trips up north. With (admittedly rather schoolboyish humour) I muse, as I cross it, that it would be quite funny if it was a tributary of the Rhine.
23Woman tempted after scripture class — that was official (5)
REEVE - RE (scripture class) + EVE (Woman tempted) [after] giving us the the historical [that was] local official - a word I've only ever seen used in crosswordland. But then I'm not a historian - history is more or less bunk, isn't it?
25Last but one inpolitical residence (6,3)
NUMBER TEN - Very neat double definition. Number ten is the second last batsman in a cricket team. I was walking past the end of Downing Street one day a few years ago and was amused to see a pizza delivery motorbike stopped at the entrance. Did someone make a prank call pretending to be the PM's secretary ordering one for No.10, I wondered? Or was David Cameron secretly a fan of (pepperoni maybe) pizzas?
27Giant pig about to carry dog around (7)
GOLIATH - You take the HOG (pig) backwards [about] and put it outside [to carry] TAIL (dog) also backwards [around] and get the big biblical warrior of Gath defeated by the young David in the Book of Samuel.
29Dean oddly right to succeed Scotsman, but no creationist (9)
DARWINIAN - D{e}A{n} [oddly] + R (right) + WIN (succeed) + IAN (Scotsman) giving us a believer in evolution rather than creation. Or maybe the whole world is just a figment of your imagination. Who can say?
31Looking far from good, like this dud weather map spread out (5,6,2)
DEATH WARMED UP - (dud weather map)* [spread out]. How I might look in the morning after an evening of gross over-indulgence. Not that it happens often. Well, not every day.
34Tense or terse Utopian prediction? (6,7)
FUTURE PERFECT - Double definition, second one cryptic. I will have completed this blog by the time the answers are published in the paper. Perfectly, of course. Well you can be the judge of that.
35Clothing subject to damage through use (9)
UNDERWEAR - UNDER + WEAR. How you get extra holes in your knickers.
37He meets the writer in SCR for Mastermind (7)
SCHEMER - HE + ME (the writer) inside [in] SCR. Someone who comes up with cunning plans that are better than Baldrick's.
39As broomstick is misused by women? (9)
HAGRIDDEN - Double definition. Witchy witch's preferred means of transport and her tormented husband are both this.
42Shrub posh cricket club kept in ultimately dry area (5)
YUCCA - U (posh) + CC (cricket club) [in] {dr}Y {area}A [ulimately]. A plant, native to the americas, that is well suited to hot dry areas. Here in the UK they are mostly houseplants. There are none in my house, though.
43Chauvinist's piece about good love (5)
BIGOT - BIT (piece) [about] G (good) O (love). Someone who believes, for example, that men are superior to women is one of these. I wouldn't dare - the wrath of Mrs Interred would be awesome.
45Animal savaged Edinburgh's foremost author (1,1,5)
A A MILNE - (Animal)* [savaged] + E{dinburgh]. "Ecce Eduardus Ursus scalis nunc tump-tump-tump occipite gradus pulsante post Christophorum Robinum descendens" is, I recall (thanks to google), the start of Winnie Ille Pu, Milnei. The wonderful benefits of a classical eduction, eh?
47Friend and Roman stars taken round key training facility (9)
PALAESTRA - PAL (Friend) + ASTRA (Roman stars) [taken round] E (key). Whilst my Latin knowledge includes ASTRA for stars, I'm afraid I'd never heard of this word for an ancient greek wrestling school.
49Very good to be involved in miracle at sea, based on experience (9)
EMPIRICAL - PI (Very good) [involved in] (miracle)* [at sea]. The sort of evidence that leads to a conclusion that, on the whole, Friday Times crosswords tend to be harder. Or at least used to be. As you will find discussed elsewhere on Times for the Times, and as evidenced by the fascinating SNITCH.
50Soldier and war-god making brilliant point to those on the ground (7)
ANTARES - one of the Astra. ANT (soldier) + ARES (war-god). Also known as Alpha Scorpii, it is on average the fifteenth-brightest star in the night sky, and the brightest star in the constellation of Scorpius.
52Spell without hydrogen gives measure of the gas industry (5)
THERM - TERM (spell) [without] H (hydrogen). A unit of heat you might see used on your gas bill to try and justify the size of it.
54Highly-motivated Democrat torn to shreds (6)
DRIVEN - D{emocrat} + RIVEN (torn to shreds). Relentlessly compelled by the need to accomplish a goal; very hard-working and ambitious. Also a film from 2001. I can't say I've watched it.
55Author and different men destroy envious incarnation (5-4,7)
GREEN-EYED MONSTER - Graham GREENE (Author) + (men destroy)*. A phrase describing jealousy coined by Shakespeare in Othello. Hmm. <pedantry>But jealousy is not the same as envy, is it?</pedantry>. Some say it matters.
56Nonsense consumed is spin (6)
ROTATE - ROT (Nonsense) + ATE (consumed), to go round. This one seems to have landed from QC territory,
57Black ships initially without crew? (8)
STARLESS - S{hips} [initially] that didn't have anyone on board might be TARLESS. Combine to create darkness on a cloudy night. This one made me smile.
58Logicalperson sure to succeed? (7)
NATURAL - Double definition. As Magoo appears to be with the Times crossword.


Down
1Misbehaving secretary Reed sacked becomes irritable (3-8)
BAD-TEMPERED - BAD (Misbehaving) + TEMP (secretary) + (Reed)* [sacked]. How I get in the afternoon if I've had to skip lunch.
2Own name used in safe location (5)
HAVEN - HAVE (Own) + N (name) - another clue that has safely landed from QC-land, I think.
3Delivery worker in Southern France importing tungsten and iron (7)
MIDWIFE - Ho ho. MIDI (Southern France) [importing] W (tungsten) + FE (iron). Delivery worker indeed.
4Is she paradoxically indispensable to this Wildean satire? (1,5,2,2,10)
A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE - Cryptic Definition. Unlike Being Earnest in another Wildean satire.
5It means sex in this pub — I see mum hustling outside (9)
EUPHEMISM - PH (public house) with (I see mum)* [hustling] [outside].'Doing it' is one of at least 400 of these for 'sex'. According to that, another is apparently "Taking the magic bus to Manchester". What?
6Freight from Cape put on legendary transport (5)
CARGO - C (Cape) + ARGO (Jason's legendary transport). What you might put on a boat. Another visitor from QC-land.
7Financial product one thing to have faith in (4,5)
UNIT TRUST - UNIT (one thing) + TRUST (have faith in). You need to have faith in the fund manager if you invest in one of these.
8Swimmer in east known to accept Cockney's aid (7)
EELPOUT - E + 'ELP (Cockney's aid) + OUT (known). Another new word for me.Thanks to this, I now know that "Despite its name the eelpout is not an eel, nor is it related to the pouting. To add to the confusion it is also known as the viviparous blenny but is not related to the fish UK anglers will know as a blenny! The eelpout can therefore be seen as a perfect example of the confusing naming patterns of UK sea fish.". Quite so.
10Joined forces after enemy initially came into view (7)
EMERGED - E{nemy} + MERGED (joined forces). What Venus did from the waves in the famous Boticelli painting.
11Where listeners sit, check old song over (9)
AUDITORIA - AUDIT (check) + O (old) + AIR (song) backwards. Where you might have a seat at a concert. But you can only be in one of these at a time.
12Standfirm? (11)
PARTNERSHIP - A neat double definition this. What a 25a might have with a number eleven for the last wicket.
15Daughter stops Mendelssohn damaging corrected composition (3,4,3,10)
MAD DOGS AND ENGLISHMEN - D (Daughter) inside (Mendelssohn damaging)* [corrected]. The composer in question being Noel Coward, of course. Yes, I do sometimes go out in the mid-day sun, even though I'm not an Englishman, but not without a hat to protect my follically challenged pate.
20Clown potentially the downfall of seaside attraction? (7)
PIERROT - PIER (seaside attraction) + ROT (what might cause its downfall). A French clown. Pierrot Lunaire is one of my favourite Schonberg compositions and uses the rather odd Sprechstimme style of vocal delivery.
21Describing bald tyre, son twice missed foot pedal (7)
TREADLE - A bald tyre would be TREADLE{ss}, and you miss the two sons at the end to get something with which to drive a sewing machine.
24Witty remark from glutton tucking into English butter (7)
EPIGRAM - PIG (glutton) [tucking into] E (English) + RAM (butter). A bit of deja vue here having solved the accompanying Saturday cryptic. I'm looking forward to seeing some witty remarks in the comments section later. I know you can do them!
26You are served with chicken up in popular Indian (5)
NEHRU - Text-speak U (you) + R (are) with HEN (chicken) going upwards gives us Jawaharlal Nehru, the first Prime Minister of India.
28Fish in batter animal hunted as food (7)
LAMPREY - LAM (batter) + PREY (animal hunted as food). Not to be confused with an EELPOUT (q.v.).
30Drama ends in disaster and violent death for card player (5)
NORTH - NO (Japanese Drama) [ends in] {disaste}R + {violen}T + {deat}H. Anyone for bridge? In any column about the game North usually ends up as dummy.
32Norwegian girl last in queue stretching across (7)
ASTRIDE - ASTRID (Norwegian girl) + {queu}E. How one usually rides. Unless one goes side-saddle, that is.
33Hard to fathom hack appearing in British Army barracks (7)
DEEPCUT - DEEP (Hard to fathom) + CUT (hack). The headquarters of the Royal Logistic Corps of the British Army and infamous for bullying claims.
34Energy producer wants line put in more quickly (4-7)
FAST-BREEDER - BREED (line) [put in] FASTER (more quickly). A sort of nuclear reactor.
36Ram-raider abused a large officer (4,7)
REAR ADMIRAL - (Ram-raider)* [abused] + A + L (large). A rank of naval officer, above commodore and below vice admiral.
38Memorable occasion for which drunk, on beer, stays over (4,5)
HIGH POINT - HIGH (drunk) + PINT (beer) including [stays] O (over). What was your high point of this crossword?
40Willing to receive elderly Irish stateswoman (5,4)
GOLDA MEIR - No. Not Mary Robinson, but the former Israeli Prime Minister. GAME (Willing} [receiving] OLD + IR (Irish).
41Failed asylum seekers, perhaps, see leader in tent tied up (9)
DEPORTEES - SEE + T (leader in tent) + ROPED (tied) all going upwards. The ones who get sent home again.
44Wrong to keep people in terrible pain (7)
TORMENT - TORT (wrong) [to keep] MEN (people) inside. What being 39a causes.
46Spy on traitor you’ll find in African underground? (4,3)
MOLE RAT - MOLE (Spy) + RAT (traitor) giving the burrowing rodent aka the sand puppy.
48Previous partner taking time in court that's obsolete (7)
EXTINCT - EX (previous partner) + T (time) + IN + CT (court). As dinosaurs are (except in Jurassic Park).
51Goethe means to convey unifying idea (5)
THEME - Hidden in {Goe}THE ME{ans}. See how many hits you get that are related to crossword clues if you google "unifying idea"  (like I did when compiling this blog)!
53Compound fracture reset (5)
ESTER - [fracture] (reset)* to get a class of organic compunds. The lower molecular weight ones have interesting fragrances, like pear drops and bananas.

The end (phew)!

And the answer to today's question?

To hide in cherry trees, of course. Well have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No? I thought not. That proves it works then, doesn't it?

I'll get my coat!


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